For my Shikorina ....

"Daniel left today, he is simply nice. I like him a loooooooot. I was wiz him 24/7 that's why i did not update u sorry. How have u been? Hope u r doing great. keep in touch. Miss u sooooooooooooooo much!"

I could not believe this was really happening. I still can't. As I read the email, I could not help but remember all the fears, insecurities, hopes, dreams, laughter, and tears that we have shared together.

It was a bit strange journey from when we met to where we are today. From a hi and hello, during the weekly seminars for last two years, today not a single day goes without talking/seeing/laughing at(with) each other! It's amazing how ONE FINE DAY some people who barely existed for you become the most significant part of your life. My journey with her was something similar. Yes, am talking about my sweet heart and my best friend.

The first memory that I have of her was having caught her in her office crying in 2005! Yes, she was, for having left her family back home and coming all the way here for pursuing her degree! The next concrete memory I have of her was in fall 2007, when I was moving and looking for a roomate. After many missed calls I did manage to show them (yes, I refer them as them, as the are my best deal here, will write about the other half of them later) the apartment but we did not end up becoming roomates. I was angry and disappointed (my anger and disappointment are sometimes illogical but they are very temporal) then as they did not accept my offer. Little did I know then about the unsaid, silent, invisible 'best moment contract' I signed with them :) !

I moved to a different two bedroom apartment and it was nice as well. I continued running into her but still it was insignificant until thanks giving when my brother came and 'THEY' came over for thanks giving dinner. I think thats my 2nd memory with her, and first memory with them :) and my last days of 'Dark Ages' in 2007. 2007 was a very disturbing and unhappy year for me primarily for the shuttling between US and India and its consequences!! I came face to face with lot of truths and challenges but thankfully I had resolved most of the vague puzzles and the invisible contract was working as well :)

I don;t really recall but it was already 2008 and I remember everytime we ended up chatting at 1am or 5am outside our office we used to end up complaining "where were you all these years?". Inspite of being in opposite offices we never ran into each other as much as we did now! And boy, am glad we did. I guess the clock was set for us to be their for each other only in 2008. I have to be honest here, I was so scared of letting or getting close to anyone. I was really skeptical and reminded myself to keep distance. But I lost. She completely won my heart. And today she occupies one of my auricles, and guess what to my surprise it was a BUY 1 GET 1 free deal.

Yes, am talking about the "THEM". Her roomate. I got the BEST deal I could have got or I have got here in logan. And these cupons don't even expire :) They just get renewed every month or yearly I think !!! I used to be always busy, but I think I had really forgotten what a honest, heart to heart conversation was, I had forgotten what it was to come home to friends and not roommate or housemate, I had forgotten how it felt to call a friend at the middle of night and catching up on a funny video, I had forgotten what it was to do nothing and just lazying around with friends, I had forgotten what a real hug felt, I had forgotten what it was to fight over silly issues, I had forgotten what it felt when somebody asked if I had my lunch or dinner, I had forgotten how good it felt to make fun of yourself and the other infront of each other, I had forgotten what it felt to share your fear and insecurities, I had forgotten what it felt when people are being honest and straight forward, I had forgotten what it felt to not having the need to use your brain, I had forgotten how blissful it feels to live just by your heart, I had forgotten how it felt to have a friend, a company, a trust and faith, that 'I am there'. I had forgotten how it felt to really have some one who genuinely cared for you without an agenda! She got all these moments back in my life. And I was never lonely again. If there is something that I have realized having lived so many years by myself is, it takes courage to fight with loneliness and how much ever you specialize in mastering ways to handle loneliness there can be absolutely nothing that can equate to having someone who genuinely cares for you. And the 'Genuineness' in the care can only happen only if you have witnessed similar moments or you are in the same platform.

I cannot Thank god, for what I have today and I could not have valued what I have today as much as I do today had I not gone through what I had to! Her email today took me back on the memorable journey that I had with her and I know that we will continue to remain conected. To my sweet heart and now Danny's sweet heart for giving me the courage to believe in love and friendship. For giving me back my faith (Along with her, I need to acknowledge that I need to thank my 'TOY" as well for engraving the faith stronger. She is a sweet heart as well).

We might not meet every year, we might not speak to each other everyday, we might live in different countries, we might meet new people in our lives but I know we will always remain in each others prayers and heart since we stood by "each other" when it was needed. And above all 'She is the BEST'.

Actually, I have always got the BEST in every thing, be it pain or happiness. And I will continue to recieve the BEST, I just know it. I might have to pay some price though initially but thats fine. Everything happens for the best and WILL happen for the best. I believe it to the core, as thats what life has offerred me. It's a miracle.

And today I am witnessing another miracle, where god sends a soul out of the blue from miles and miles away (atleast 19 hrs away, from a country almost in the north pole) just for love for my shikorina. Yes, my sweet heart met her 'THE BEST' in the most miraculous way, and am so happy to know that they are together. I cannot put it in words how happy I am but I am, and I cannot believe that they met just 2 months back !!!

2008, has been a wonderful year for me. It has been a year of gaining things back. And she was the best part of it. I guess, life is nothing but a miracle, only if you are willing to take a chance, forgive and forget, :) . I did that, and my gain was/is humungous compared to the loses!

Thank God. Thanks Life....and off course THANKS to Shikorina for being there :). God Bless. you lotssssssss and miss you lots..

mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaah