Happys Endings - to the year 2008

"itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai ki har zarre ne mujhe tumse milane ki Saazish ki hai....kehte hai *pause* agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho toh poori kaynath tumhein usse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai...aaj aap sabne mujhe meri chahat se mila diya...thanks, thanks very much, kehte hai ki filmon ki tarah hamari zindagi mein bhi end tak sab theek hee ho jaata hai..happys endings...aur agar theek naa ho toh woh the end nahi, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost..."




on a tangent note lost 10 , 10 (= 20) points today :(( ... have to watch the score next time..

Rules of Uncle Screw's !!

1. "For every action towards any of my crush there will be 10 x opposite force towards PhD completion and securing job "

2. "For every action towards seeking 'khatam wala pyaar' there will be 10 x opposite force towards PhD completion and securing job "

3. "For every action spent towards chatting with someone there will be 10 x opposite force towards PhD completion and securing job "

4. "For every hour spent with 'Pentax' there will be an 10 x opposite force towards completion and securing job "

5. "For every post on 'my window' there will be 5 x opposite force towards completion and securing job "
.............

Yes, rules from Uncle Screws !!!
You better fix it now or else you know the consequences !!

Huh ?

Yah, a big question mark!
Am not sure if what happen today or did not happen today -

1. Is a sign, or
2. An answer to my prayers, or
3. Destiny, or
4. An answer to my inner conflict, or
5. An entirely random incident, or
6. Nothing!

I will have to wait for a whole year or my be more to get the context of 'goodness' in today's incident ! Am not sure if am happy, sad, disappointed, affected or unaffected, unless it is an answer to my prayers and others who are praying for me. Something tells me there IS something about today, else the puzzle would have been resolved. I do not understand, why am I always chosen to witness such incidents?

Someone was supposed to come and meet me during the Christmas break. This soul wanted to come earlier too but never turned up. And am not the one who pursues things if the other is not interested. So anyway I did not bother. His first attempt to meet was in August. Somehow we got re-connected again in Nov. And he choose to come over. I was like Ok, but somehow I felt something missing. There was something MISSING...in his wanting to meet or reasons to meet. And I had my own doubts. So anyway, he was supposed to come on the 26th and I was praying the LORD, aloud that PLEASE spare me from Meeting anyone who is NOT meant to be... and save my time. I do not want to meet anyone who lacks sincereity. I litterally prayed aloud.

Ma, was like... keep your negative vibes out. I was not really negative. But I was very clear that I DO NOT WANT TO WASTE MY TIME. So do not make it happen if its not meant to be. THAT's IT. And guess what, after saying Good night and see you tomorrow...he calls in 30mins and says...Hey, there is a slight problem..

Me : What happened?
He : My flight IS canceled because of snowstorm warnings!
Me : WHAT !! (in my mind I knew, the lord heard me)
He : Looks like we will have to postpone our meeting...
Me: Ya, looks like. Bad timing. But no worries... next time.
He : Ya, so let me know when you are around in CA
Me : (in silence) Ya, RIGHT ! You wish !! Are you Dumb?
. ................

Ma : SHOCKED to the core... she was speechless
Me : Shocked to the core...and surprised.. .. at my own ability to communicate with the universe

While all this happened I was talking to someone whole heartedly, with a an unknown element, to someone I recently met.. with the only conviction that I only have this day... to talk to him... who knows what in store for me tomorrow...!!!

Whatever it is God, please stand beside me. And guide me to my destiny... wherever it is...

Bulk Wishes

Has one ever wondered what it is like to not wish people over a bulk mail?

I tried something different this year. Instead of sending a bulk mail to everybody in my address book I just sent a personal note to the few people I care and I know they care. It felt nice to remember them and make a wish for them. Interestingly the people ranged from friends who have been with me through thick and thin, people I have shared some of the best moments, people that make me smile every time I interact with them, people that I have fought with, people who remember more often than I do, people whom I have met for real and people whom I have not met either, people who have been with me for years, people whom I have recently met or people whom I just came to know this year.

My Inbox is getting flooded with best wishes, am yet to send a bulk mail to everybody, will do it sometime today I think, but I think I liked my Christmas better without the 'Bulk Mail'.

Not sure if I will remain connected to all of them till next Christmas, but for today I felt nice to be able to count the names that make me smile for one reason or other.

God Bless and Wish you all (Bulk and Non- Bulk people) : " A Merry Christmas" :)

A bad day just got over ..

1. made a mistake of seeing the news early morning..got disgusted watching the Antulay drama.
2. told myself, forget it..let me just go to work. went to work system was down
3. had an argument with mom, lost my head
4. was coming back from school and my disco skid, I slid down the slope at right angle. And went bang. And bang came another car down the same slope. We were lucky nobody was hit. And a truck came from no where to pull us up. Disco's airfilter came off. There is a scratch on his body. So things happened but I guess I had some luck left.
5. The truck pulled me out but could not reach home.
6. Totally lost my head and cool. And definatley was not in a mood to go to work and come up with a new analysis method.
7. Realized today was not my day! Got frustrated and angry. Forced myself for a movie. On the way while taking a left turn and entering into the middle I was opposite a car. Braked and skid again.
8. Guess what ? All the movies running at that point were 1hr into it !! So pointless.

I gave up. All my patience and attempts to happify myself was failing. I had only one option left. My trump card. Went shopping.. to 'Heels and Toes'. I buy my shoes only from here. Most of the time of designs selected last year or in summer until they come down to $8.00. Yup so I was at my $8.oo'Hhappifying cupon'. Bought two pairs. One Cinderella type while the other soccer type. Bought Pretzel's bite. Remembered Mical and our days of loitering in the mall. Am glad I had those memories. Haven't spoken to her for a while. Something told me to go back to the movie theater. So I Went back. Was lucky. Got tickets to 'Yes Funny'. It did manage to make me smile after a horrible day. Now at home sulking about the by gone day and thinking what am I going to present tomorrow at the meeting at 11am. I just could not work!!

Sometimes no matter what you try, things are NOT going to work the way you want or even work for the sake of working. And today was my that lucky day! *#&(@*#@(*#&@*&(@.

Moral of the day : Instead of fighting against life's will its better to let that phase pass. Thats what I did. Hope tomorrow will be brighter and warmer. Atleast I feel sleepy. I can wake up early and make up for the meeting tomorrow! All the best to myself. Tomorrow IS an important day. Hope things click this time. Be with me god.

Ginkobiloba

21st Dec 2008,
Prof Hijibijbij and Bengdeki return home with Kintu and Parantu after 15years in exile from Gondowanaland. Along with them came Ginkobiloba and Casty.

Prof Hijibijbij lived in Marsh for 10years.
Bangdeki lived in Utakam for 5 years before moving to Marsh.

Prof Hijibijbij met Bangdeki at Ginkobiloba breeding center.
Prof. Hijibijbij just came home and saw Bangdeki and Ginkobiloba staring outside the window.

"Plip plop ...plip plop..." was the sound heard at the window as the condensed H2O molecules banged against the window, making Bangdeki and Ginkobiloba happy and excited. Ginkobiloba gets reminded of the games played at the breeding center.

Few Self Notes and Observations

1. Whenever somebody asks a question they most probably already have an answers to that question.
2. Whenever someone makes a suggestion or a comment its a function of their experience and vision.
3. Friends or people who really care rarely flirt.
4. Only in absence of interesting offline people or activities, people go online.
5. There is an inverse correlation between concentration and deadline.
6. For every step towards graduation there is a equal and opposite force of distraction
7. Laziness is directly related to work pressure.
8. Under stress, questions related to things that bother you increases your chances of loosing temper
9. Saying Hi to people whom you like and vice-verse is a good medicine to a bad mood.
10. Saying Hi to people whom you 'dont' like and vice- verse is a damaging to a good mood.
11. A genuine smile is visible even to the blind.
12. 'When you believe' , 'Dhingchak music' and 'Dancing' saves the empty mind from devil's visit.
13. Golmaal, Chupke Chupke and Harry potter - relaxes, happifies me significantly
14. 10:30 pm - 11:00 pm is the time for a quick nap and good energizer for next 5hrs
15. Sleeping for 18hrs straight without any guilt or knowledge of pst, present, future is magically blissful.
16. It feels beautiful to be (around) the loved one.
17. Flirting is an essential catalyst for creating/sustaining romance among couplets.

First Time..

For the first time..
I have crush on someone from my race.... :)
I am sure I will be over it soon..but I rejoicing the fact.. I could actually manage to have a crush on someone from my clan :)

Am basking in its glory as much as I can before I fall out of it.. :)
This has never happened in past...30++ years :)

I shall be out of it by February ... :) so not much time left..

The Big picture is so dark !!

World leaders 'failing to get' climate message

• 14:34 15 December 2008 by Fred Pearce, Poznan
• For similar stories, visit the Climate Change Topic Guide

The politicians just don't seem to get the seriousness of the global warming crisis. Scientists attending the recent UN climate conference in Poznan, Poland, complained that the gap between political rhetoric and scientific reality on climate change is growing.

"It doesn't matter what the politicians promise," said French climate scientist Philippe Ciais. "Even if we stop emissions growing today, the world will still warm by 2 °C - a lot more in some places. It is too late to prevent that."

Ciais was at Poznan to present the latest findings of the Global Carbon Project, a network of scientists that monitors how humans are influencing the natural carbon cycle.

While politicians boast of their progress in cutting CO₂ emissions, in the real world the gas is actually accumulating at an accelerating rate. Emissions have risen 28% already this decade, compared with 9% for the whole of the 1990s, said Ciais.

'Negotiations needed'

In Poznan, world leaders spent two weeks trying to negotiate a successor to the Kyoto protocol, ahead of a deal intended to be signed this time next year in Copenhagen. But progress was slow.

The meeting did make progress on establishing an adaptation fund to help poor countries hit by inevitable climate change, and on paying tropical countries to protect their rainforests and so lock up the carbon they contain.

But no rich nations made new promises about their own future emissions, though at a separate meeting, the EU agreed a package that could lead to 20% cuts by 2020.

As proceedings closed, the UN's chief climate negotiator Yvo de Boer said that "serious negotiations must begin now." However, he said that after last year's talks in Bali too.

Obama vacuum

The small band of scientists at the event said politicians still didn't get the seriousness of the problem.

Minister after minister claimed that the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change had said dangerous climate change can be stopped by preventing average global temperatures from rising by 2 °C, and that this can be done by reducing CO₂ emissions by 50% by 2050. Neither statement is true, said Ciais.

"We need an 80% cut by 2050, and that would only give a 70% chance of avoiding [a 2 °C rise]," said Martin Parry, co-chair of the last IPCC report on the impacts of climate change.

One man who did seem to get it was UN secretary-general Ban Ki-moon, whose attendance in Poznan signified how climate change has become his overriding priority. He promised to call one, and perhaps two, meetings with world leaders next year.

In part, the Poznan paralysis arose because, as many leaders admitted, the world is waiting for Barack Obama. All agree that no deal is worth having without the US signing up. A deadline for countries to make firm proposals on emissions cuts was set for April 2009 specifically to meet the president-elect's timetable.

'Tipping point'

Also missing is a way to work out long-term entitlements to emit greenhouse gases. Developing nations are reluctant to accept targets until there is a fair formula. One idea is to base entitlements on population.

The EU has said that reducing global emissions 50% by 2050 would require that "average emissions per capita should be reduced to around 2 tonnes of CO₂, and that in the long term, gradual convergence ... of national per capita emissions would be necessary."

Most scientists say average emissions per capita should be reduced to around 1 tonne, but if the EU plan is followed up, a deal to make per capita emissions fair, according to country, could form part of the Copenhagen compromise next year.

Will the planetary crisis wait? Maybe not: Ciais warned that we could soon pass a climate-change "tipping point" - if we haven't already.

"Once it is past, even zero emissions of CO₂ won't stop the warming," he says.

*** given all the advances and controversies in CC, I wonder where do we as a Nation stand. I am always challenged by the big dark hopeless picture of the next ice age. Wonder how far or close we are too it. But come what may, am sure Life would continue, it has continued for so many million years. Whether human's as a species would be able to withstand it is what needs to be seen. I guess TIME is the only answer****

Sensible Words from Rick Again !!

"You have a lot happening on a psychological level now, but it needn't get in the way of your productivity. In fact, you can put your emotions to work by letting others know what they need to do to win your approval. Being clear with your expectations is crucial, yet you must also lead by example. Don't ask anyone else to do something unless you are prepared to do it too"

How do you know so much, is what I wonder?
I think I am perpetually always in Crush or Infatuation, 24 7, 365 days :) !!
As I consistently loose focus on the focused after three months :)

Phew!! Rick stop making sense all the time !

SRK on Present and Changing India

When Politics Broke My Heart !!

I have been thinking whether to write it or not..Finally I took the call to write it. So here I am, possibly this way it will out of my system.

I was never interested in politics, It never affected me as I thought I have nothing to do with the people who run the business called 'Politics'.

26 - 11 - 2008, I went to the Engineering lab to finish the last part of my codes, that's when the breaking news came into my Inbox and I got stuck with CNN..

Although I did not know anybody personally but seeing my country burn I felt ashamed of myself, I felt helpless, I felt homeless, I felt orphaned. I was shuttling between 'Anger' 'Hopelessness' and 'Pain'. I felt helpless. It was hard to work. Amongst all this fire and terror I think I re-realized the strength or intensity of 'Belonging to a Nation' ! And am sure am not the only one.

Ever since I came to US, I wanted to go back as soon as I can!
Ever since I started living here, I realized how different these two worlds are and they cannot be compared.
Ever since I started living here, I became more critical about the goods and bads in both the worlds and how the best can be transferred to India.
Ever since I decided to do a PhD, I knew I wanted to do it 'ON INDIA.'
It was so easy to give up and jump on to a different project, but I could not as I did not want to!
It was not easy to deal with the bureaucracy, while working in India from US and kept the motivation, passion and spirit going among all the personal and professional tussle going on in my life.

Yet, I dreamt and my dreams continue, that someday I will be able to go back and contribute at a larger scale than I can today or I have done till now.

Although with every terror attack a brick in the castle breaks, falls or collapses!

Mumbai's 26/11 was no different. But this time besides damaging the bricks it made me furious and my anger poured out as words in my blog or other discussion blogs! One such posts lead to an argument which brought me face to face with certain facts,realities and allegations. Although I bit back the person and later I appologized for loosing my temper there were certain statements that I want to keep myself reminded -

1. what is it that you have done that you are complaining?
absoultely true, I have not even managed to completed my education to be able to be in a position to say something with an authority! THIS IS SO TRUE. Am nobody at this point in the system. I have not made a mark in the society or in the country to answer back !! My small academic or professional achivement is not good enough to make anybody re-think before they pose a Q to me !

2. you are anyway living outside India for over 5 years now so you don't know the system, hence away from it if you have nothing good to say! - I want to make a promise to myself that never give anybody a chance to talk to me like that irrespective of where I stay. And that will be achived when I have answer to above Q

I think My inability to reply back to the first Q was what hurt me the most. But that is the truth. It hurt me. It made me angry. It made me realign to my immediate priorities. It was nice that I could speak to Dad, that day. He just told me "Don't loose focus from your short term and long term goals. You have long life and a lot of time. Utilize your time properly and you will have answer to both the Q's pretty soon. Don't loose heart and at the same time don't forget what you felt when you faced the first Q. Remeber that and work towards your goals"

So yes, that was the day politics broke my heart, and I won't let the incissoin get healed (or forgotten) with time so easily!!

T T P : TODAALY PAAIISSA WADSOOOL :)

Hey YOU :)

Found this is Here : http://xkcd.com/archive/
If you know, you are this 'YOU' and you are on the other side of this screen then you must know you are not located at the right place :)

If you don't know if you are this you, then you should do the needful to find it you..
If you know, that it is not you, then you should go and find out, WHOSE 'you' do you belong to :) ...