TRUE FRIENDSHIP.....
has anybody wondered, what does it exactly mean? Does it really exist? I guess its a function of our definition of 'TRUTH' and 'FRIENDSHIP'. To me 'Truth' is something that is not conditioned to any change. Its consistent, ever existing. Can human relationship and affection ever reach such a state which is independent of the influence from 'TIME'?
I grew up thinking 'Friendship' is the most beautiful and wonderful thing one has. But as time has passed, I have really started questioning and wondering what exactly IS it? I am a little disillusioned about it. According to me friendship is a platform where two humans communicate or interact with each other with a significantly longer duration of time, they share a trust, togetherness and an untold comfortness. Now what do I mean by the term communicating/interacting/comfortness?
Avoiding any heavy explanation - communication is talking, comfortness is where you are not being judged, interacting - is a bidirectional exchange of thoughts, affection and concern. And all this exist without signing a bond, a paper or any agreement. This was my definition and understanding.
But with time, and my understanding in life I found it hard to not notice the effect of time. It seems all of the above criteria is a function of time and its dynamic. All the three variables have a declining trend with time in order from communication, interaction to comfort level. Its very interesting to notice that the pattern seems consistent with most humans. People are just time feelers for different situation and periods in our life. And its natural and normal. Or is it just the consequence of the dynamic nature of time? Every objects around us, including me are continuously changing. Our assigned responsibilities and commitment are changing. If nothing in this life is consistent, then why stress on extremes like 'forever'? I mean why are kids not brought up with this idea of moderation, an ever changing fleet around you? I think its much later in our life that one realizes that life is dynamic, everything is probabilistic, shades of Grey.
Within this dynamically changing world, there is very little room for everybody. We continuously have to accommodate the most important parameter in our life at time 't'. And there is very less room for everybody. Its hard to say so, but that is the blatant truth. Isn't this the basic reason behind the fight on authority over a son or husband between a mother and wife?
I used to think that the above equation is an after effect of ego tussle. But may be it's all about a changing variable and the inability of others to accept change. Everything follows the same rule. Change is the basic principle of life. Ever since I met Rahul, the rest of the world does not exist for me. Now am I being unjust to the people who were around me or am I just doing what I am feeling? Now if from my childhood I knew 'or I know eventually its 'Rahul' who is going to be my friend forever, would I waste time talking/communicating/interacting with Julie, Shaun, Levita, Ruhi? I guess NO. So in a way having an impersonal, detached, object or time feeler oriented 'Equation' with everybody around me is the most cost effective to me in the long run. This brings me to start thinking and contrasting how the western / eastern society works.
Having lived in US, i have been exposed to both. Initially I found the western world or people quite selfish. And I think the western world has this realization from a very younger age so much to the extent that may be for them finding 'rahul' becomes a very important goal. And once they do, they do not think its essential to mingle with rahul's friends or friends before rahul. I do not agree to the extreme they take where for them even parents and near immediate family members are considered as outsiders. Unlike the west, in the east parents and immediate family thankfully does not qualify as outsider. And am glad that rahul agrees with me on this. But I guess my incapability of being unable to bond with people before rahul gives me less guilt today, than it used to do earlier. It feels good having being able to understand the equation.
And it also makes me realize that every time I failed to respond to any such bonding was right. i was on the right path. Sometimes I just do not like the overly concern of outsider's or stranger or such 'bong wanting' people about me and rahul. Guys leave us alone. We can take care of ourselves. And even if he is not around you do not have to act, that you really care for me. I just do not know why people put so much effort in trying to convince you with their concern of them for you! Too much waste of time! Phew! I would not do that, if i was ever bonded to anyone, even by mistake.
Am just glad that my I was already told before hand about this by my well wishers. Am glad that they warned right before I entered the game that, my target was to find rahul and not get caught in between among images of him or even people alike him, or even the co-passanger's on my way to him. Its just a journey and there will be exchange of passengers at every station the train is destined to stop. Had it not been for them it would have had a rough ride. And had it not been for them I also would not have enjoyed the company of each and every co-passenger I came across. Rahul awaits me in the station tomorrow early morning. I can't wait to tell him about the exciting and adventurous journey I have had.
Each and every co-passenger was worth mentioning. They were all unique in there own ways. All beautiful people, they had so much to tell, and stories to tell about themselves. Could I have enjoyed this journey any better? I guess NO. I got along with some of the co-passenger's right away as soon as they boarded the train. And some off course weren't! Reason's could very well be my excitement in trying and wanting to know them given the limited time I had or could be there pre-occupation with something. Either ways, I made it a point to introduce myself first, to ask the place they are heading to, and if they were traveling for the first time? Some where new like me, had more questions than I had, some already had answers as if they knew my questions already.
The most interesting was the person I met who just got down in the previous station. We had similar questions. But unlike me, he was returning from his sabbatical and he was accompanied by his wife. He seemed very philosopher-ish! I avoid such people. They tend to have the habit of looking at you as emotional slugs, and give unwanted opinions or tell blatant lies about time, object, subject and their interaction.
I could not keep my mouth shut and told about rahul. They were excited to know about him and how we met just for one day and we knew we were made for each other. We were having a general discussion but did not realise when it became personal. After some time into it I realised their comments were some how pinching my guilt, and telling me that I was unjust to people before him.
But some how I am convinced what I did was right. And am not guilty of anything. I mean what's the basic requirement or function of a 'friend'? Hi, hello, dinner, lunch, some companion to spend some alloted amount of time. That's it. I did not understand what they were trying to indicate that I did not understand and feel the meaning of friendship? As if they were an epitome of one! I mean what's the function of a friend at work if I have my best friend at home? Rahul for me, and some X,Y,Z for others. Why do I have to call or keep up with what Steena, Julie or Sandy is upto now a days? I mean it's not that I do not remember them but I just do not have the time for them anymore. It was nice to hang around with them during college, have fun but since I met him I find every moment spent with them is a waste of time. I have always contemplated and thought about this title called 'Friendship' What exactly is it? What are the rules in it? When do you understand and come to the realization that this person is your freind? What defines him or her as a friend? Is it a tag you pin to someone and then take it off, whenever you feel like? Is it a permanently tagged baggage? or is it just a carry on? Is it a tag given to someone to perform certain duties and once those duties are over you return back the tag?
John with whom I yaap everyday at lunch. Is he my friend or Is it Shelly with whom I have had arguments and discussions on such titles every time we ran into each other. I rarely meet Shelly, but then I do not remember John the moment I step out of the carousel. Or is it Alex, my lab mate? We can create the stupidest joke out of the most sever and boring problem. We keep laughing and talking even in middle of the most stressful experiments. Or is it, Pat, whom I happen to meet at times on the biking trail, and I have had some of my best rides when we happen together. Or is it Sam, whom I can call anytime of the day, and just say, man am bugged !! or is it Joyslene, with whom I never have to speak. Silence is enough. Or is it 'Rahul' whom I met just a month back, at Reena's wedding?
As I think of all the people, and how each of them were unique nothing convinces me more than the realization that interaction with people cannot be summed up in time to get an average coefficient associated with them to be classified as friends or none. And none exists too as the very definition of 'friends' is at fault. I am not convinced that my well wishers, who told me the essential before boarding, gave me a wrong definition of friendship and friends!
Long live my well wishers and long live other people's confusions, because only then I can convince I was right, as my well wishers were... :)
******
A strong whistle blows right into my ear, and I wake up to see Pat's stupid silly but warm smile infront of me. Get up, we are where I met you with Rahul 3 years back. You have been babbling whole night.
has anybody wondered, what does it exactly mean? Does it really exist? I guess its a function of our definition of 'TRUTH' and 'FRIENDSHIP'. To me 'Truth' is something that is not conditioned to any change. Its consistent, ever existing. Can human relationship and affection ever reach such a state which is independent of the influence from 'TIME'?
I grew up thinking 'Friendship' is the most beautiful and wonderful thing one has. But as time has passed, I have really started questioning and wondering what exactly IS it? I am a little disillusioned about it. According to me friendship is a platform where two humans communicate or interact with each other with a significantly longer duration of time, they share a trust, togetherness and an untold comfortness. Now what do I mean by the term communicating/interacting/comfortness?
Avoiding any heavy explanation - communication is talking, comfortness is where you are not being judged, interacting - is a bidirectional exchange of thoughts, affection and concern. And all this exist without signing a bond, a paper or any agreement. This was my definition and understanding.
But with time, and my understanding in life I found it hard to not notice the effect of time. It seems all of the above criteria is a function of time and its dynamic. All the three variables have a declining trend with time in order from communication, interaction to comfort level. Its very interesting to notice that the pattern seems consistent with most humans. People are just time feelers for different situation and periods in our life. And its natural and normal. Or is it just the consequence of the dynamic nature of time? Every objects around us, including me are continuously changing. Our assigned responsibilities and commitment are changing. If nothing in this life is consistent, then why stress on extremes like 'forever'? I mean why are kids not brought up with this idea of moderation, an ever changing fleet around you? I think its much later in our life that one realizes that life is dynamic, everything is probabilistic, shades of Grey.
Within this dynamically changing world, there is very little room for everybody. We continuously have to accommodate the most important parameter in our life at time 't'. And there is very less room for everybody. Its hard to say so, but that is the blatant truth. Isn't this the basic reason behind the fight on authority over a son or husband between a mother and wife?
I used to think that the above equation is an after effect of ego tussle. But may be it's all about a changing variable and the inability of others to accept change. Everything follows the same rule. Change is the basic principle of life. Ever since I met Rahul, the rest of the world does not exist for me. Now am I being unjust to the people who were around me or am I just doing what I am feeling? Now if from my childhood I knew 'or I know eventually its 'Rahul' who is going to be my friend forever, would I waste time talking/communicating/interacting with Julie, Shaun, Levita, Ruhi? I guess NO. So in a way having an impersonal, detached, object or time feeler oriented 'Equation' with everybody around me is the most cost effective to me in the long run. This brings me to start thinking and contrasting how the western / eastern society works.
Having lived in US, i have been exposed to both. Initially I found the western world or people quite selfish. And I think the western world has this realization from a very younger age so much to the extent that may be for them finding 'rahul' becomes a very important goal. And once they do, they do not think its essential to mingle with rahul's friends or friends before rahul. I do not agree to the extreme they take where for them even parents and near immediate family members are considered as outsiders. Unlike the west, in the east parents and immediate family thankfully does not qualify as outsider. And am glad that rahul agrees with me on this. But I guess my incapability of being unable to bond with people before rahul gives me less guilt today, than it used to do earlier. It feels good having being able to understand the equation.
And it also makes me realize that every time I failed to respond to any such bonding was right. i was on the right path. Sometimes I just do not like the overly concern of outsider's or stranger or such 'bong wanting' people about me and rahul. Guys leave us alone. We can take care of ourselves. And even if he is not around you do not have to act, that you really care for me. I just do not know why people put so much effort in trying to convince you with their concern of them for you! Too much waste of time! Phew! I would not do that, if i was ever bonded to anyone, even by mistake.
Am just glad that my I was already told before hand about this by my well wishers. Am glad that they warned right before I entered the game that, my target was to find rahul and not get caught in between among images of him or even people alike him, or even the co-passanger's on my way to him. Its just a journey and there will be exchange of passengers at every station the train is destined to stop. Had it not been for them it would have had a rough ride. And had it not been for them I also would not have enjoyed the company of each and every co-passenger I came across. Rahul awaits me in the station tomorrow early morning. I can't wait to tell him about the exciting and adventurous journey I have had.
Each and every co-passenger was worth mentioning. They were all unique in there own ways. All beautiful people, they had so much to tell, and stories to tell about themselves. Could I have enjoyed this journey any better? I guess NO. I got along with some of the co-passenger's right away as soon as they boarded the train. And some off course weren't! Reason's could very well be my excitement in trying and wanting to know them given the limited time I had or could be there pre-occupation with something. Either ways, I made it a point to introduce myself first, to ask the place they are heading to, and if they were traveling for the first time? Some where new like me, had more questions than I had, some already had answers as if they knew my questions already.
The most interesting was the person I met who just got down in the previous station. We had similar questions. But unlike me, he was returning from his sabbatical and he was accompanied by his wife. He seemed very philosopher-ish! I avoid such people. They tend to have the habit of looking at you as emotional slugs, and give unwanted opinions or tell blatant lies about time, object, subject and their interaction.
I could not keep my mouth shut and told about rahul. They were excited to know about him and how we met just for one day and we knew we were made for each other. We were having a general discussion but did not realise when it became personal. After some time into it I realised their comments were some how pinching my guilt, and telling me that I was unjust to people before him.
But some how I am convinced what I did was right. And am not guilty of anything. I mean what's the basic requirement or function of a 'friend'? Hi, hello, dinner, lunch, some companion to spend some alloted amount of time. That's it. I did not understand what they were trying to indicate that I did not understand and feel the meaning of friendship? As if they were an epitome of one! I mean what's the function of a friend at work if I have my best friend at home? Rahul for me, and some X,Y,Z for others. Why do I have to call or keep up with what Steena, Julie or Sandy is upto now a days? I mean it's not that I do not remember them but I just do not have the time for them anymore. It was nice to hang around with them during college, have fun but since I met him I find every moment spent with them is a waste of time. I have always contemplated and thought about this title called 'Friendship' What exactly is it? What are the rules in it? When do you understand and come to the realization that this person is your freind? What defines him or her as a friend? Is it a tag you pin to someone and then take it off, whenever you feel like? Is it a permanently tagged baggage? or is it just a carry on? Is it a tag given to someone to perform certain duties and once those duties are over you return back the tag?
John with whom I yaap everyday at lunch. Is he my friend or Is it Shelly with whom I have had arguments and discussions on such titles every time we ran into each other. I rarely meet Shelly, but then I do not remember John the moment I step out of the carousel. Or is it Alex, my lab mate? We can create the stupidest joke out of the most sever and boring problem. We keep laughing and talking even in middle of the most stressful experiments. Or is it, Pat, whom I happen to meet at times on the biking trail, and I have had some of my best rides when we happen together. Or is it Sam, whom I can call anytime of the day, and just say, man am bugged !! or is it Joyslene, with whom I never have to speak. Silence is enough. Or is it 'Rahul' whom I met just a month back, at Reena's wedding?
As I think of all the people, and how each of them were unique nothing convinces me more than the realization that interaction with people cannot be summed up in time to get an average coefficient associated with them to be classified as friends or none. And none exists too as the very definition of 'friends' is at fault. I am not convinced that my well wishers, who told me the essential before boarding, gave me a wrong definition of friendship and friends!
Long live my well wishers and long live other people's confusions, because only then I can convince I was right, as my well wishers were... :)
******
A strong whistle blows right into my ear, and I wake up to see Pat's stupid silly but warm smile infront of me. Get up, we are where I met you with Rahul 3 years back. You have been babbling whole night.
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