Straight and She-male

Ya...over past few months I have been observing myself.. and finally realized why God made me a Women.. and thankfully straight..

COZ, had it been the other way round, I think I would have fallen flat for any girl who could sing..

In general I have a thing for people who can sing and dance. Music is like life to me. I am not a professionally trained singer. Rather I choose dancing over singing. Over past couple of months I have been thinking what led me to pursue dancing and not singing?

As I walked through my memory lane, I saw how I used to get mad at my mom for calling my music teacher in the evenings. Evening used to be my usual time for swimming, biking or playing with the boys of my colony. I think I just did not like the idea of staying at home or sitting at one place and doing anything, unlike dancing.Even today I as soon the clock ticks 5pm, I have to be out to say bye bye to my Handsome young man - Mr.Sun :)

Right from school days I was more into dancing than singing. Two reasons. First, since I was better at it I could easily boss around people, second I could miss classes at school :). Anyway so back to my music classes. Yes, so I think I was more interested in singing Hindi film songs than Classical or Bhajaan. Those days me and Bhajaan were anti-department. I was an atheist. Anything even vaguely related to those three words "GOD" would be in my "I HATE IT" category. No reason or logic behind such actions. Just extremes.

For every Bhajaan the music teacher taught I would ask him to teach a filmi song, which off course he never taught. Instead everytime I asked him or told him the songs I wanted to sing he would complain my mom. I would get a trashing and no TV for few days.

So it was not very far that I started hating my Music teacher and eventually I think I hated singing. I remember one evening I had music classes and decided to return home late. I continued playing absolutely aware of the consequences. I was so used to getting scolded due to my arrogance and attitude that I knew I could deal with it. I hoped that mom will discontinue my classes. But she did not. I only got a nice trashing and again 'NO TV' for a week. I was a TV bug BUT not so much as a playing bug.

Anyway so next I started planning how to get rid of the musical monster. Purposefully I would sing off tune. If he asked me to sing 'Sa' I would sing 'Re'... ..'Ma instead of 'Ni...

I loved the frowning frustrated expressions on his face. I would jump lines and not memorize the lyrics. After a month of sincere efforts eventually One 'BRIGHT DAY' he spoke those GOLDEN WORDS to my mom.

It was for quite sometime THE BEST MOMENT and Achievement of my life...

MOM - So , how do you think she is doing?

Musical Monster (MM)- aaaa...mmm.. she is nice.. but I think she you should not force her to sing..

MOM - Oh, no no I don't force her she sings on her.. every morning she practices..(i used to just do that so that mom is convinced that I am interested)

MM- Actually boudi (mom's are usually called as "Boudi" by younger men)she cannot sing. She does not have the basic knowledge or flare of sur and taal. I think you should just let her do what she wants..and not force her to singing.....

Standing at the door, I could really see those words dropping out of his mouth...I WAS SO HAPPY...I WAS SCREAMING "YES" in my mind...........

Little did I know then that there will be a time in future when I WILL WANT to get rid of the besura 'SA RE GA...' I used to sing to my music teacher !!!

Since then I have been all to dancing. But soon came adulthood and I ran into girls who could sing. I realized I liked girls who could sing. Never concentrated on guys. Nothing to do with hormonal preferences. Girls were more interesting than boys. Boys were good company to play and fight with. So I used to make friends with girls who could sing. Soon I realized all the boys were also making friends with those girls as they could sing. Thats how I started sharing my admiration with the boys for girls who could sing. And I became admirer of girls..and looking out for girls who could sing :)

Even today I get overwhelmed with love, respect and admiration for women or girls who can sing. Be it my friends, AKA Amrita, Deepti, my Sis or Shreya..Asha..Lata..

On the other hand if its a guy...who can sing then I for sure like them..but not so much as I would like a girl..I mean there is only so much I can love a girl..after that it becomes respect, admiration...And if its a guy who can then it stops at 'WAO' very nice. Thats it.

But if its a guy who can sing and dance, or the later then BOY, save me.. I JUST fall 'hormonally' flat..I think this is exactly why I like Elvis Presley more than Johnny Cash or Shaan more than Sonu Nigam..

Now, had I not been a 'SHE-mail' and 'Straight' I think my survival and monologous or monogamous, :) existence with only ONE female would have been extremely questionable!!

Having realized this I also realized that..music and dance lives within my circulatory system. I can get high on either. No need of any alcohol or companion. I sing for myself, I dance for myself. All I need is music, floor space and no deadlines to meet :)

"AAAhhhhhhhhh..Bus...ek saal aur..then....there will be no deadlines..buss...I will be all mine..."