hmmmm ummmm...
I have been rambling these thoughts over my head for long. Thought I would not write. But may be I should and just get them out of my skull.
Every 31st I meet Mr. Green to evaluate my achieved and failed targets for the year. It took a little while to get to it this year as I had friends over. Anyway...so to wrap it up
2007,
was an year of events. Most happening year after 2002. Loss and gains all rhymed together. May be not as damaging as 2002 but must say high intensity year of realizations of the real world, the fakes, and the truths.
I think it took some courage to see the truth. But once I saw it, acting on them was not difficult.
Professionally, cleared all the set targets and going at a constant pace. In fact it was great in my professional life.
Personally, it was a happening year. UFFFffffff...am glad its over. Learned not to expect and share the same passion I have for things and people around me. I am crystal clear honest person. I have a life long membership with anti-lying undiplomatic squad. Truth to me is a carbon copy of what is in ones heart and mind. Ya, difficult..but I can't help it. Thats who I am. I cannot think a person to be an asshole and in the next moment smile at him/her and hit a conversation for 30 mins. Or change my opinions with a cost benefit analysis. I rather choose not to think somebody as an asshole in the first place and not have an opinion either. But anyways thats me..and my problem is I expect others to be same.. :) which I understood is utter bullshit !
Half truths, mediocrity, passivity is JUST not my way of life. I believe in the number 100, else 0. May be an extreme attitude. Although balance is the cue to stability and progress but the problem my balance is set to 100 :) and there lies the problem. I have learned to see how the balance for most is set to 20 0r 50 and not compare my standards with others.
Am not sure if my adopted strategy over past few months is the best. But it does keep me off from most things around me. Its like I am with them but not really with them. A superficial existence with the surrounding. And I am doing it consciously. I don't really care much on what they think and feel anymore.
How does it always happen that the person who the whole world see as F%^$^ ups, I see as genuineness? Why is it that when others are so confident about others DARK shades, I see light? I was bombarded with these kinda of realizations off and on this year. PHEW!!
And realized that the answer lies in me. I am blessed with bright eyes. I am proud of it. Even in the darkest corner or in the dirties murk I can find the glow of a diamond. I don't know how and when I evolved this trait but its just there. It can be a boon or curse, depending on whether you know how to use it efficiently though. And I think I finally DID. YEEEEPPPPPPPPIIEEE :)
Earlier I just could not see the real shades of the object. Everything I saw was a function of the glasses I had. It great to have those glasses, but I think its absolutely essential to learn to train yourself to see without those glasses or the bright eyes. I finally learned to see the same things both with the lights ON and OFF. Only when you switch off your own torch and walk through available natural light you see the real object. The truth. I have learned to do that finally. Purple appeared Blue, Dirty brown appeared Green. I can see so many more colors now..rather than an over saturated image. I am just overwhelmed to find the different shades. And I just happy about finding a way to see the true colors as well. It just feels great.
In simple words, life mein jyada load nahi lene ka...dont be over passionate about THINGS or PEOPLE..... that do not belong to you...its good to believe that that whole world, every corner, every inch belongs to you, but its good to have a reality check...with things concerned with others...REALITY CHECK is absolutely essential :)
Treat others the way they treat you...Forgive people with wisdom NOT a blanket cover !! And above all the million dollar word "LOVE" is a rarity. Do not shower it in a whole sale market :).. have the courage to say NO and GOOD BYE when you have to...take time, but never choose not to say it... :)
aaahhh I feel free having let those words out of my cortex. It feel great. There are some truths and facts that happened this year which took time to even realize. And having realized it, I know nothing can change it either but TIME.. But am glad that its all through...PHEW.. :)
AHHH my green book, you always make me ponder and learn so much about myself. Every year I look look forward to meeting you. I am awed by the extra inches I grow in such a short timespan. Thanks for being there and letting me know myself more...thanks for giving me the courage to know myself and the strength to accept it too. Love it....
to myself, life, love, courage and passion...and above all to YOU :)
I have been rambling these thoughts over my head for long. Thought I would not write. But may be I should and just get them out of my skull.
Every 31st I meet Mr. Green to evaluate my achieved and failed targets for the year. It took a little while to get to it this year as I had friends over. Anyway...so to wrap it up
2007,
was an year of events. Most happening year after 2002. Loss and gains all rhymed together. May be not as damaging as 2002 but must say high intensity year of realizations of the real world, the fakes, and the truths.
I think it took some courage to see the truth. But once I saw it, acting on them was not difficult.
Professionally, cleared all the set targets and going at a constant pace. In fact it was great in my professional life.
Personally, it was a happening year. UFFFffffff...am glad its over. Learned not to expect and share the same passion I have for things and people around me. I am crystal clear honest person. I have a life long membership with anti-lying undiplomatic squad. Truth to me is a carbon copy of what is in ones heart and mind. Ya, difficult..but I can't help it. Thats who I am. I cannot think a person to be an asshole and in the next moment smile at him/her and hit a conversation for 30 mins. Or change my opinions with a cost benefit analysis. I rather choose not to think somebody as an asshole in the first place and not have an opinion either. But anyways thats me..and my problem is I expect others to be same.. :) which I understood is utter bullshit !
Half truths, mediocrity, passivity is JUST not my way of life. I believe in the number 100, else 0. May be an extreme attitude. Although balance is the cue to stability and progress but the problem my balance is set to 100 :) and there lies the problem. I have learned to see how the balance for most is set to 20 0r 50 and not compare my standards with others.
Am not sure if my adopted strategy over past few months is the best. But it does keep me off from most things around me. Its like I am with them but not really with them. A superficial existence with the surrounding. And I am doing it consciously. I don't really care much on what they think and feel anymore.
How does it always happen that the person who the whole world see as F%^$^ ups, I see as genuineness? Why is it that when others are so confident about others DARK shades, I see light? I was bombarded with these kinda of realizations off and on this year. PHEW!!
And realized that the answer lies in me. I am blessed with bright eyes. I am proud of it. Even in the darkest corner or in the dirties murk I can find the glow of a diamond. I don't know how and when I evolved this trait but its just there. It can be a boon or curse, depending on whether you know how to use it efficiently though. And I think I finally DID. YEEEEPPPPPPPPIIEEE :)
Earlier I just could not see the real shades of the object. Everything I saw was a function of the glasses I had. It great to have those glasses, but I think its absolutely essential to learn to train yourself to see without those glasses or the bright eyes. I finally learned to see the same things both with the lights ON and OFF. Only when you switch off your own torch and walk through available natural light you see the real object. The truth. I have learned to do that finally. Purple appeared Blue, Dirty brown appeared Green. I can see so many more colors now..rather than an over saturated image. I am just overwhelmed to find the different shades. And I just happy about finding a way to see the true colors as well. It just feels great.
In simple words, life mein jyada load nahi lene ka...dont be over passionate about THINGS or PEOPLE..... that do not belong to you...its good to believe that that whole world, every corner, every inch belongs to you, but its good to have a reality check...with things concerned with others...REALITY CHECK is absolutely essential :)
Treat others the way they treat you...Forgive people with wisdom NOT a blanket cover !! And above all the million dollar word "LOVE" is a rarity. Do not shower it in a whole sale market :).. have the courage to say NO and GOOD BYE when you have to...take time, but never choose not to say it... :)
aaahhh I feel free having let those words out of my cortex. It feel great. There are some truths and facts that happened this year which took time to even realize. And having realized it, I know nothing can change it either but TIME.. But am glad that its all through...PHEW.. :)
AHHH my green book, you always make me ponder and learn so much about myself. Every year I look look forward to meeting you. I am awed by the extra inches I grow in such a short timespan. Thanks for being there and letting me know myself more...thanks for giving me the courage to know myself and the strength to accept it too. Love it....
to myself, life, love, courage and passion...and above all to YOU :)
No comments:
Post a Comment