Life ke Up and Down...

My life is going through a serious dama dol!

I hope this uncertainty will settle soon ..

I finally got the GSS notification of 'NO' you did not get the award in paper today. I already had a hunch so was not so disappointed. I think I already went through the depression of the forth coming crisis few weeks back :). So I was all prepared to receive the news. I just cannot afford to waste too much time in hopelessness :)

So anyway, there are few more options at the university to help me get through this stage. Will apply for all of them. I am sure something will workout. Specially with John beside me and giving a thought to me, just makes me think and feel that things will work out.

On the other hand, something that I was sure off, but still not certain came to the foreground. And am happy. I mean I am happy, I want to believe and I am believing everything without a pinch of doubt in it :)

I mean there is a lot of vagueness in it but yet there is a surety about certain things. For the first time, I am between "Certainty and Vagueness" unlike "Unsure and No Idea" or completely submerged in "No Idea"!

So technically not everything is "Down" and neither is everything up in the "Air" but their is an overarching cloud/breeze of 'Calmness'.

I mean if I zoom-in for tiny details then the picture quality gets fragmented or pixelated and nothing makes sense! But if I zoom out, I see a Enid Blitonish "Happy Ending" even with my bad eyes or without glasses :)

But for now its better or important to hold on to reality or view it at the actual resolution and not zoom in or zoom out! Kitna maaza ayeaga when zooming in or out won't make a difference to the picture quality, :)

Ahha that will be Bliss, I think :). Even the thought of it makes Tanu blotter happy. Am perpetually intoxicated with a cool breeze for, and am just enjoying it, :)!

Ahmen
God Bless :)

NB - On a practicle note though the calmness is making me loose the practicalism I don't know if that would be a sensible thing to do.. but may be it will be better this way..than repenting later...I hate being practicle..but since I just cannot afford to loose myself w/o ensuring that I will land on my foot I have to remain this way :( so, on a real note let me not believe in it, unless am asked to or have real reasons to believe that something concrete has happened..its better that I forget that anything ever came to the foreground! ! wonder why can't I have a simple straight forward life?