Split... between Love and Hate

I wonder sometimes why life is so hard ?
Or, to be more specific for Me?

Will it ever take a smooth ride or be something that less painful?
Will I ever be able to take a step forward again, without fearing of being hurt again?

Why did it happen ? Why did I choose to make it happen? Why did life let it happen?
I am so sick and tired of all this!

I fear I have lost the last bit of me that I was holding on to!
Since I never gave IT a 2nd thought or any other thought then that it is meant to be!
Went through a common space we had, and my heart could not feel anything but love and some bitterness. But I felt the love stronger than the spilled bitterness. Hence I just wrote. But may be that's not the same on the other side.

How can someone claim to be genuine yet not be willing to see the whole picture, look at everything from dawn to dusk, not be willing to hear what their heart says or feels? How can it be that two people who claim to love each other just choose to hurt each other the most? How can it be that two people who claim to like each other could not forgive each others mistakes and move on? How can a connection that existed for real be wiped off in a second? How can someone really love you but at the same time choose to hurt you the most?

I don't know what to believe - the loving, and affectionate side of this person or the hateful and hurting side of the same person?

If I choose to remember the loving and affectionate side, I am left to suffer in pain
If I choose to remember the hateful side, I am left with anger.

I cannot live with either. I have to forgive and forget. But then I am split between love and hate. How can I hate a person I loved? I have never been able to do that. Is that the only way out?

May be I don't want to forget the brighter days, wish life was simpler and there was a middle way out.