Thinking Through....

I think I am behaving irrationally and being impractical and immature, for getting affected by something that I have not seen or been with for real!

For most people the idea of love is connected to being with the person,
being there for him or her and taking care of him or her,
sharing moments of joy and pain,
sharing a laugh, a movie, a silly joke,
doing things together...
wanting to see each other and be with each other...
Talk to each other..
making fun of the self..
cracking jokes on other..

FOR REAL.. i mean with the real person...

I happen to miss someone,

I have not met for real..
I have not seen, I have not touched, I have not hugged,
I have not shared a movie, I have shared food, I have not shared a silence, I have not shared a walk, I have not shared togetherness, I have not done anything...
I have not shared any pain..
I have not acted silly..
I have not made fun...
I have not been made fun...
Yah, I have spoken, I have talked, I have seen and I have been but virtually,
Have shared some laugh because of self imposed 'Bakwaas'

Now doesn't this sound wired!
I think it very much does !!

So, I think I should not feel so bad..

Well, rationally though I should not feel so bad, but then rationally I should not have taken it so seriously too..

I should have stuck to mine, NO just friends, policy, like I do with real people..

I think I am wired and have serious problems.. in not knowing where to give the trust and time..

The more I think about it, the problem lies in my head..

I take time in becoming friends with real people.. I mean I don't let them get close to me..
But on the other hand, I gave my trust completely to a person on the other side of the screen, just because I believed THIS IS IT ! I believed it because it so closely matched with what I know will happen to me.. !!!!

Yes, it was close but only superficially. And I failed to notice that, because I was disillusioned by what I saw (no read), interpreted and understood..

I think I must be NUTS, or out of my head.. I don't know where my brain went for these past months!

I think I really have to work on WHAT I BELIEVE. And what I believe need not always be what the other person believes. And that is important to know, understand and note.

I think our interpretation of others is always influenced by our understanding of the self.
Things that we cannot think or imagine about ourselves we will never think about others.
For e.g, if you a Dr. you expect the other person to be a Dr. (unconsciously); if you are selfish your view of the other will be selfish(unconsciously); if you are happy you will see everyone around happy(unconsciously); if you are bindaas you expect everyone around to be bindaas (unconsciously)., if you are confident you expect the other to be same, if you have no idea of misery you will not expect (understanding hence expectation) misery in other....etc etc...

The more I think about it, the more it gets cleared to me, and less painful it is.. and more silly I find myself...

Yah, I think am behaving out of proportion.. and irrationally... and being SILLY to the power infinity !!

But its OK. It just to Me and Myself. Glad I came to know one more side of me.
And I don't regret for what or the way I felt for the unseen.
It happens. I did not know this part of my silliness.
But now having realised this, I should focus more on the seen and visible range.

Invest your resources in a just way... in the right place... in an appropriate way....

Am glad that none other than a handful people read me here :)
I am kinda ashamed of my own siliness. :P !!!

GLOWINGLY BEFKUUF !!!
And to add to my silliness I wrote about it on the photoblog !!!

REALLY ashamed now :( !!
But thankfully I did not elaborate so much.. so people won't realise the UNSEEN part..

JEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... God please save me from future blunders like this!!
Thodii akkaal de doo mujhe..