Shaadi.com days

Its high time I think I start writing about my years with or on shaadi.com!! I don't know if and when I will get freedom from visiting there but I think I should pen down my memories spent in there looking for that someone special in my life...

This post is dedicated to the first guy I happened to meet through DOT.com ! Prior to this the chemistry wasn't good enough to even graduate to the level of meeting. So, here I am talking about this guy, who was not meant to be the person to be with me..

The first time I read his profile, I was intrigued to just tease him or harass him for his idealistic profile, infront of which perfection would shy away. Anyway so I started communicating with this guy over email, when I was in India. I had only breezed through his idealized profile prior to talking to him 3 weeks from when I started communicating with him over email.

I think it was only at the 2nd conversation that I actually went and read his profile correctly, as was contemplating man, is it possible that someone knows himself so well, and he actually IS what HE thinks himself to be? Most of the time we have a very wrong impression of who we actually are and who we want to be! In our heads those two are same but in real world and to most the two personalities in our head do not really coincide. Am sure there are lot of things in me that I am sure does not match with something I think myself to be...

Anyway so going to the .DOT.com days - so the conversation with this Mr. Perfect was just, like magic. We just had so much to converse, to share, common hobbies and interest. It just seemed too good to be true. A matured, sensitive, sensible, loving, caring guy and above all into outdoors and doing all these activities. I must be kidding to have met a person with all these tools in one box!! I was really really amazed at gods creation. How can he make something so perfect? Someone wanting to adopt, so much so that he would not want his own child!! Everytime I came across these thoughts and such conversion I would pinch myself to check if I am really talking to someone or just talking to myself. Such were the conversions. It was almost like check mate :)

My only and only concern and worry was what if I get turned off by his physical appearance? I had never bothered in my life about how a person looked. To me the personality, the overall nature of the person always valued more than if he was a tall dark handsome dude..atleast thats what I thought...and I was confident about until I met Mr. Perfect. I was really worried and nervous since I was going to withstand my own test set by myself my meeting someone, who had receding hair line, was not drop dead gorgeous and was balding !! I was really nervous thinking what if how he looked over weighed his personality? What if I fail to walk on my own set rule? That was what I was only unsure about for the past month I was communicating with Mr. Perfect. I knew deep down, that we had lot of things in common and nothing could stop us from sailing together unless I turned him down for his looks! It was just the perfect cocktail of emotions, affection and adventure that I needed in the monkey I was looking to settle down in my life....

The day to met the mate, finally came. I was excited to pick him up from the airport. I remember each and every second of the 30 minutes spent at the airport waiting for his flight, since it was delayed. I stood behind the stairways, way back from the main view just so that I see him first. From where I stood, I first saw the legs of a person, followed by hands if they were resting on the escalator, until it came till then end when I could see the face. The airport was exceptionally crowded that day. And I had no trouble in scanning for trousers or bald heads of the people getting down the escalator. Somehow from our conversation I knew that he was wearing formals. So any legs that came down the escalator clad in jeans were outside my matter of interest. So were the not brown hands that rested on escalator as it pushed its way down. My eyes were glued to the escalator like never before. I sms-ed my friend that I was nervous, what if turns to be a complete turn off ?? I imagined all the fair bald guys coming down the escalator in brown and asking myself - turn on or off?

My phone quacked all of a sudden as I was scanning the escalator for the brown, formal clad legs. It was him. His flight had landed and he was on his way out to the baggage claim area. As I said him bye, I saw a small toddling figure huddling out from the crowd into the baggage area in a grey shirt and black pant with a not so balding head. It was HIM. Well, I looked at him from a distance, and I heard my heart say - NOT a straight TURN OFF. Phew!! I was so relaxed. I made my way through the crowd slowly called out for his name and say - Hi, I am here.

Had a proper look at him as I walked towards him with a smile. He was much shorter and stouter than I had imagined. Not Fat but yes stout. Receding hairline but within the tolerable zone. Do not remember the smile as I never saw it after that but had big teeth. He stood there for a while till I bent forward to give him a hug. It felt nice.

Then started the most interesting journey of my life. He had is teeth out I think with the following sentence repeated thrice " you look different". "very different from all the snaps". " I think you are a sure ghost". "A Total ghost I think"....

I was shy, smiling and quiet. But repeated bombardment of the above line in few seconds I met made me say "yah, you look shorter than your snaps". That was the first and last comment I made about his looks, as it did not matter to me so much specially in context to the memories of conversation we had.

In few minutes we were out of the airport after checking out the car, with few more repeated bombardments about my 'Ghostly appearance' and my 'shyness' with regard to meeting someone from DOT.com. I don't know why I was so shy, but I was. May be because I was feeling romantic or wanted him to be romantic, or I was happy or I was feeling something... (Am yet to find out why are people shy when they meet someone they like) ...anyway... so I was shy, smiling and quiet... and talking general stuff.. I had never met anybody through DOT.com before so was not very mechanical about it. I think I was acting through my emotions. Anyway so we hit the highway 89 to take exit to 3300S, for shyam's place when I asked him the first and last question - So, what do you think ? I took sometime to understand the reply he gave, but for then it OK.

"nothing", am not judgmental ! the next few words just rushed out of my mouth before I could eat them :) "if you are not judgmental how are you going to or planning to choose a wife, I think you are more judgmental than most since you are putting an extra effort in not being judgmental"

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the next couple of days were history. My jaws had started to pain sooner than I had expected due to the artificial smile I had to force on myself. The main reasons for the forced smiling were asking to taste wine at 230 midnight as soon as one lands in a strangers home (may be he did not think me to be a stranger); forcing and wanting to drive through the not so rugged mountain and curvaceous road and off course for not finding anything worth praising about the place ( i think he was the first person I met in my 5 years who did not find Logan beautiful and gorgeous, mind it I have had friends and guests from US, Europe, Australia, and offcourse India) ; amazed at his own capability to stand in snow, in middle of snow blizzard, in cold in a stupid red T-shirt; offcourse note worthy was his deep (IN) consideration to keep increasing the AC irrespective of the other persons cold and allergy due to temperature fluctuation; needless to mention his needless effort to show off about hiking in tough terrains, so much so that he was not interested to even have a look at the mountains here if he did not get to climb some tough peaks.... and the list continued..........be it doing some challenging treks, driving successfully in such dumb terrains, or achieving one's set target at rock climbing...

by the end of 2nd day I was not sure what was this person trying to convey and what was he visiting me for? He was trying to impress me or may be he is always so excited about himself that he never notices what other people around or what they want! If it was about impressing then I think he did a great job of impressing me about him being a kewl activity partner. But I thought we met on DOT.com and the goal was to find out if we can be good life partner's ? A husbands and wife, a parent to children, a family together ?

There was a huge vacuum between us in what we were expecting from each other. I was expecting a nice, loving, caring, sensitive, emotional (sometimes, if not always) - guy, a man. Whom I wanted to love, and I knew I could. He was expecting a hot, chick or babe to drink and dance to glory to go to club and eventually make out and check the chemistry :) ? An activity partner!!!

Oh, my gosh, I was actually talking to a ghost then! Phone conversations can be so misleading since it forces the persons attention and focus to just you, which might not be the basic nature of the person. How sensitive, caring, nurturing a person is in reality can only be judged based on how considerate he is about you in presence of other distractions :) . I spent the most boring weekend of my life, in complete silence for more than 72hrs!! How much ever hard I tried there was just nothing to converse. And the sensitive, caring, loving, affectionate vision that I had of Mr. Perfect soon changed to an "arrogant, inconsiderate, insensitive, immature PIG" - One drive, thats it. If you have to know a person, thats all you need to do. Go for a drive. A TEST DRIVE :) the real person will be out infront of you by the end of the TEST drive :)

To add further icing on the cake, Mr.Pig, does not have the courtesy or decency to tell before he takes off a "Thanks, I had good time but Sorry, I think this won't work".

Although I did not like lot of things about Mr. Pig, I still thought that it could work, if he realized or understood that marriage is more than activity partner, or clubbing, pubbing and dancing is bound to happen among couples if they are romantic which is limited only by time and disappearance of discomfort - ness !! But Mr. Pig is not only piggish but, also immature. Besides for me my long term goals and expectation from life on adoption and social work were bigger than these difference and I choose to make it work... But I think Life had made the decision and choice for me already.

Life did not want me to end up with Mr. Pig, in the first place, since I think life knew his true nature :) - a pig.

So much so that, he does not call or email after he leaves; he denies to pick up my call; but makes the effort to send an email immediately after the call saying "I think you would have understood by now" - king of PIGS :) actually I think a PIG is better than him :) ....infact his piggish nature is so strong that he puts the pics that I took of him during the trip on his .DOT.com profile :) - saying 'Ain't I kewl ?'

I don't know if I should pity the soul he finds, but all I can say is I do not deserve a pig, infact a real PIG might be better than him any day I think. No wonder, I was so sick and allergic during the days he was around..and I could not find my new eye lenses!!

I ran into my new eye lenses, today while cleaning at its more than 12hrs that I am wearing them and am perfectly fine - glowing and shining. I can say nothing but 'THANK YOU' to life for saving me from not falling in love with a creature worse than a PIG :), how about a leach :) ???

I think that suits him better :) a leach :D ... and his profile about himself... OH, thats nothing but what he thinks himself to be, or he craves or longs to be... I pray for the soul within him to realize the difference in who he thinks he IS, who he really IS !!