Problem Kya hai ?

Came back from a gathering of acquaintances....with people I don't really know..with people I am not connected..with people who do not care for each other...the only common connection among them is 'they crib about each other' when ever the other one is not there..

There were few exceptions in the lot though. Some of the younger ones whom I don't really know seemed to be having fun. There was lot of good food, catch up on gossip, some new news and some old one..

I really don't know how to present myself in these kinda social gatherings where everything is so superficial. Had it not been at the elderly person's house I would not have gone. I have avoided such interactions for quite sometime and now I cannot relate to them or I feel like an alien in such gatherings! I miss the people am connected to, or I feel I am connected to at that moment...when in real even that's an illusion!

Why is it always Me ? Or why is it that I cannot NOT let the superficial drama not effect me? Why do I remember people who do not remember Me? Why is it that I feel lonely in such crowd? Why is it that I have to tell this or share this to a blog and not to a soul? Why is it that the people I cared for so much today act as strangers? Why is it that God, always keeps me at the loosing end? Why is it that I have to smile to someone when I know deep down in their heart they are not genuine in their concern? Why is it that the people I loved so much as friends didn't give a second thought while cutting me off from their lives? Why do I have to see and experience all this and still believe that life is beautiful and its all for good and will end some day? Why do I question today if I was wrong in taking a stand for what I believed in? Why was I loaded with such ideas and principles? Why didn't I learn to compromise to insanity, disrespectful treatment, unforgiving social atrocities!!!

It surprises me how contradictory words and statement on the same subject and object are or can be delivered so flawlessly by some people? I get more unhappy than refreshed in such gatherings!! What is it that I still need to learn from all this? I am thankful to god for having limited experience of such interactions, else I will loose faith in life, in people, in honest, in affection, in care. I am holding on to that 20% with all my strength and courage, I do not want to loose a bit of it, anymore!!

Give me strength, Let the faith Be...Be there God..I need you in my life the most..